Vanillekipferl (that's German for the best Christmas cookies EVER)

My family, being extremely German, has a venerable tradition of baking endless quantities of German Christmas cookies. My beloved Mutterland is, of course, most famous for its yuletide tradition of Lebkuchen, many of which can now be found on American shelves. But what most Americans don't know is that Lebkuchen are only the beginning of German Christmas deliciousness. The trouble with German Christmas cookies (as I discovered to my dismay when I first tried to recreate them in my own kitchen) is that they a) are time-consuming and messy to make, b) often require specialized equipment, c) are difficult if not impossible to convert from metric to imperial, and d) are anything but low fat.

But fear not! It so happens that the most delicious variety of the hallowed cookie collection also happens to be the one kind that is duplicatable in an American kitchen! I have been making Vanillekipferl (there is no real translation, though Vanilla hornlets is close) every year since I fled the nest, and to great success. All you really need in the way of equipment is a metric scale, and the only tricky-to-find ingredient are packets of vanilla sugar, which are mercifully available at most mainstream grocery stores (you can also find it at Penzeys and other spice stores, but because German recipes are so wedded to the unit of a packet, it's harder to know how much to use). 

Lest the idea of vanilla hornlets, whatever those are, doesn't motivate you to go running to your kitchen, let me explain. I am, normally, completely uninterested in a cookie unless it contains chocolate. Yet these cocoa-less gems are, without any doubt, the most delicious cookies that have ever crossed my palate. Think crumbly, buttery, almondy, vanilla-y morsels of heaven. They redefine what it means to melt in your mouth, and I look forward to them year-round. So, without further ado...

Vanillekipferl

For the dough

200 g flour

2 egg yolks

80 g powdered sugar

innards of 1 vanilla bean

1 packet of vanilla sugar (e.g. Dr. Oetker)

pinch of salt

100 g almond meal (store-bought)

     OR (preferably)

100 g raw, whole almonds with which to make your own meal! (see below for instructions)

200 g butter

(additional flour as needed for the surface)

For the coating

50 g white sugar

2 packets vanilla sugar

But before I tell you how to make the cookies, let me make a plug for homemade almond meal. Sure, you can go to Trader Joe's and buy a bag of it, but fresh almond meal? Tastes 800 times better and is quite fun to make. 

Mass your almonds, dump them in a heat-proof bowl. Boil some water, pour it over the almonds and let them sit for 5-10 minutes, or until nice and wrinkly. 

Drain them, then (the best part) start peeling them - just pop the skins right off (be warned - almonds will definitely ricochet across the room on occasion. There's a reason this blog is called Holy Mess...).  

If this is too tedious for you, I apologize. Having been raised to expect almond peeling as the precursor to delicious Christmas cookies (Pavlov, anyone?), I find it ridiculously enjoyable. I also have the benefit of a frisky feline companion who, inexplicably, thinks almond peels are the most scrumptious thing ever. 

Run the peeled almonds through a food processor until they become nice and mealy (be careful not to process for too long, or you'll get almond butter). 

Having made almond meal, you can now move on to even more thrilling pursuits: constructing a cookie dough mountain. Find the largest flat surface you can (if you're a clean freak, throw down some parchment paper) and sift the flour onto it so it forms a heap. Take your fist and mash it into the flour mountain so that you get a small crater (flour volcano?).

Into the crater go the powdered sugar, egg yolks (make sure the crater walls are high enough, otherwise they'll run all over the place), vanilla sugar, vanilla bean goo, and salt. 

vanilla beans: so gross and cool

Gently distribute the almond meal around the flour mountain and sprinkle small chunks of butter all over the top. Pause and admire your handiwork. I mean, come on! It's baking and sculpture in one! What's not to love?

And then, you knead. From inside out, as best as possible. It will take a while. Flour will get everywhere. It will be glorious. When the dough comes together into one lump, wrap it in Saran wrap and stick it in the fridge for an hour. 

holy mess indeed!

When the dough has chilled (yes, it actually is important, even if you're as impatient for cookies as I am), break off small chunks and roll them between your palms until they're about 4 in. long. Pinch them at the ends and bend them into crescent shapes. Pop them on an ungreased cookie sheet and stick them in a 390 degree oven (sorry, C-F conversions are inexact...) for 10 minutes. 

While they're baking, mix the remaining sugar and vanilla sugar in a shallow bowl or dish. When the cookies come out of the oven, immediately (or as soon as you can stand to touch them) roll them in the sugar mixture and cool on racks. 

Heaven. Amen.